How to Feel Better After a Breakup (2023)

We've all been there at one point in our lives—those awful days following the demise of a relationship when all you want to do is climb in bed and pull the overs over your head. After all, breakups are never easy regardless of whether you got dumped or you did the dumping.

And, if you're like most people you probably don't deal with breakups in the healthiest of ways. Maybe you resort to drowning your sorrows with food or drinks. Or, maybe you can't stop blaming yourself for everything that went wrong. Whatever you're current coping mechanisms, you're probably wondering if there is a better way to get through this heartache.

To help you put the past behind you and move on, we have compiled a list of eight things you can do right now to feel better and help mend your broken heart. So, don't waste another second wallowing in the past and take steps to feel better right now.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

While it's only natural to want to feel better, you don't want to stuff your feelings or deny they even exist. Part of the healing process is acknowledging how you feel and allowing yourself to grieve. This process is especially important if you were in the relationship for any length of time. Even if the relationship was fraught with issues, it can still feel like a part of you is missing.

It's also important to allow yourself the time and the space to cry. Believe it or not, crying provides a release that actually will improve your mood and help you feel better in the long run. The key is getting stuck in this stage of the healing process. As a result, you need to allow yourself a few days or maybe even a week to process what happened, but after that it's time to gather yourself and focus on moving on.

This is not to say that a pang of sadness will not surprise you here and there, but crying for days and days can be counterproductive to the healing process. If you find that you can't stop crying or that you are crying for no apparent reason, you should talk to your doctor or a counselor. Sometimes a traumatic breakup can trigger depression in some people or reignite a mental health issue.

An Overview of Breakup Depression

(Video) How To Feel Better After A Break Up, You Will Be Fine, I Will Prove It To You ! :)

Remove Reminders of Your Ex

When getting over a breakup, one of the first things you need to do is purge your house or apartment of all reminders of your ex. After all, it is kind of difficult to move on and heal from a breakup if you still have your ex's picture on the nightstand or if you sleep in their old sweatshirt. As a result, take the time to remove all reminders of them from your home.

Of course, this doesn't mean you have to burn their belongings, throw their stuff into the street, or sell everything they gave you, but you should at least box these items up. Return anything that belongs to them if you want, or donate it to charity. The choice is yours.

But recognize that having reminders of your ex that are easily accessible is going to impede your progress. So, do yourself a favor and at the very least put it in storage. While you're at it, you also should remove your ex from your social media accounts.

Even though you may be curious about what they're up to, receiving constant reminders through photos and posts will keep you stuck in the past. It also can be painful too if you see your ex with a new partner. So, as hard as it may be to do, unfriend and unfollow your ex as soon as possible. You may even want to block them from seeing your posts and updates. The fewer connections you have to one another the easier it will be to move on.

Find Closure

Sometimes cutting off all contact is not enough to help you move on. Sometimes, you need what people often refer to as closure. They key is that you find closure for the relationship in a healthy way. In other words, having coffee together to talk or getting together as friends even under the guise of finding closure, is not healthy. In fact, it just keeps you tethered to your ex, but in a really unhealthy way.

Instead, you need to find other ways to bring about closure. One possible solution is to write a letter to your ex saying all the things you didn't get a chance to say. Just don't mail it or send it to them. It is the process of pouring out your feelings onto paper that helps you bring closure to the relationship—not sending it to them and hoping they will read it and feel a certain way.

(Video) How to HEAL after a BREAKUP! Stephanie Lyn Coaching

Plus, if you end up sending an emotional letter, you may end up regretting it later. There also is the chance that you will spend too much time wondering if they read the letter, what they thought about the letter, and if they are going to respond. Instead, write the letter more for yourself. And, if you feel like you need to share it with someone consider allowing a trusted friend read it or your counselor.

7 Things to Do if You Feel Emotional

Make a List of Your Ex's Faults

Too many times after a breakup, people dwell on all the things they will miss about their ex. Instead of remembering them as they truly were, they see only the good qualities—the things that they are really going to miss. But doing this can be counterproductive to your healing. After all, if you want to move on, you need to remind yourself why the two of you are not a good fit.

For this reason, take some time and write down all the things that bother you about your ex. Include big things and little things. For instance, if your ex struggled with infidelity, or wasn't interested in talking about the future, remind yourself of those things and why it would have never worked any way.

You also can include little pet peeves as well like having bad table manners or being a slob. This exercise will help you keep things in perspective as well as serve as a reminder as to why it's better that you're not together.

Take Care of Yourself

The key to feeling better after a breakup is rooted in caring for yourself. In other words, make sure you're eating right, exercising regularly, showering consistently, and getting plenty of sleep. It also may help to pamper yourself a little bit too. Consider getting a massage, a facial, or a manicure especially if you think it will boost your spirits.

(Video) How To Focus On Yourself After A Breakup and Boss Up ! | Must Watch 👏| ft Beaudiva Hair

Just hold off on making any drastic changes to your appearance like dying your hair a funky color or getting it all cut off. What might seem like a good idea today may end up being something you regret when you're not feeling as emotional. Instead, focus on things that will make you feel better without doing anything that is irreversible or permanent.

You also can try other ways of caring for yourself too like taking a yoga class, journaling, or experimenting with mindfulness. Even indulging yourself a little can be a real mood booster, like losing yourself in a good book and ordering takeout from your favorite restaurant. You could even treat yourself to a new outfit, a new pair of shoes, or the latest gadget. Think about things that bring you joy and try to incorporate them into your life.

Connect With Other People

While it may be tempting to hole up in your bedroom and wallow in self-pity, this is not a healthy response to a breakup. Instead, make a goal to connect with other people. Take the time to call family and friends. Even reach out to spend time together. Never underestimate the power of laughing and doing something fun with people who love and support you. Not only is it a great way to heal, but it also helps keep your mind off your ex.

You also should develop an emergency contact list of people you can contact during your moments of weakness. In other words, on those nights when you're tempted to call your ex and ask about getting back together, reach out to someone on your emergency list instead. Ideally, they will be there to help talk you down from any crazy ideas you get at 2 a.m.

Likewise, talking to supportive people about the breakup can be somewhat cathartic. So, ideally you have a friend or family member you can talk to. If you don't, then consider talking to a counselor instead. The idea is that talking about your feelings with regard to the breakup will help you process your feelings and come to terms with what happened.

Just be sensitive to the fact that friends and family members may become fatigued if that's all you talk about. So try to be a good friend in the midst of your crisis.

Plan a Solo Adventure

After spending time as a couple, it can be hard learning to be single again. And while the thought of doing something solo may seem a little daunting at first, it also can be extremely liberating too. Of course, you don't have to plan an entire experience, but you should plan to get used to the idea of spending time alone again.

(Video) How To Get Over A Breakup FAST | Jordan Peterson

Whether that means spending a relaxing evening alone, going on a hike in the mountains, or planning a short getaway, the key is that you get used to being alone with yourself. If you're having trouble coming up with ideas consider choosing something that your ex would never do that you really wanted to do.

You will finally get the experience you wanted and it can feel cathartic to do something they would never agree to doing. It's the perfect opportunity to make up for lost time. Plus, it might serve as a helpful reminder as to why you're not a good match for one another.

Accept That It's Over

While it's tempting to hold onto the hope that you will reunite with your ex, in the most cases, the likelihood of that happening is slim. As a result, you need to begin to accept that the relationship is over and that it's time to move on. If you don't accept that things are over, you will be stuck in limbo waiting and hoping your ex will realize the error of their ways and ask to get back together. Most of the time, that does not happen.

Likewise, don't spend a lot of time over-analyzing what you did wrong or how you could change to keep your ex around. While it's a good idea to learn from your mistakes, constantly thinking about what you could have done or should have done will likely keep you going in circles. Instead, learn what you can from the relationship, but keep moving forward. Each step that you take forward, the closer you are to healing and moving on.

Recognize that your mission now is to accept that the relationship is over. Be patient with yourself, though. Healing after a breakup is not a quick fix. It takes some time for your heart to catch up with the reality of the situation. But you will get there as long as you keep working at it.

A Word From Verywell

Whether you initiated the breakup or you were completely blindsided, it's important that you put the past behind you and move on. How exactly you go about doing that is entirely up to you. The key is that you make a concerted effort to move on.

This doesn't mean that you will handle every day perfectly, but as long as you are making conscious decisions to choose healthy options in your life, you will soon be feeling much better and your broken heart will have mended.

(Video) Surviving A Breakup - Russell Brand

FAQs

How do you feel enough after a break up? ›

The key to feeling better after a breakup is rooted in caring for yourself. In other words, make sure you're eating right, exercising regularly, showering consistently, and getting plenty of sleep. It also may help to pamper yourself a little bit too.

How long after a break up do you feel better? ›

After the breakup, many participants reported increased positive emotions — including empowerment, confidence, and happiness. Since the breakups happened an average of 11 weeks before the study, these findings seem to imply many people recover after about 11 weeks. This time frame only offers an average, though.

How do I know if my breakup is temporary? ›

Here are some signs your breakup is temporary:
  1. You haven't moved on. ...
  2. You still hang out together. ...
  3. They've been sending you mixed messages. ...
  4. You're learning how to communicate with your ex. ...
  5. They reminisce with you. ...
  6. They reach out during trials. ...
  7. They ask about you through friends. ...
  8. You have both been working on your issues.
28 Jul 2022

Why do I still think about my ex everyday? ›

Sometimes, you may not have released yourself from the relationship. There may have been some unresolved issue. The end of a relationship may not always bring closure, causing people to constantly think about the love lost, and their ex.

What do guys do after a break up? ›

Coping With a Breakup: 10 Tips for Men
  • Nest. ...
  • Go easy on the alcohol. ...
  • Get a relaxing massage. ...
  • Invite friends over to your new house for dinner and cook for them. ...
  • Don't “mind read” and assume you know what others are thinking. ...
  • Talk to your friends. ...
  • Prioritize adequate sleep. ...
  • Process guilt and shame.
12 Jun 2014

How do you get over someone you love deeply? ›

These tips can help you start the process of moving forward.
  1. Acknowledge the truth of the situation. ...
  2. Identify relationship needs — and deal breakers. ...
  3. Accept what the love meant to you. ...
  4. Look to the future. ...
  5. Prioritize other relationships. ...
  6. Spend time on yourself. ...
  7. Give yourself space. ...
  8. Understand it may take some time.
14 Jan 2020

Is it best to block an ex? ›

If keeping your ex on your social media disturbs your inner peace, block them. If you don't want to do it only because you are worried about how your ex will perceive and interpret it, do it and block them anyway. As long as it make you feel better, then what your ex or people think doesn't really matter.

Who gets over a breakup faster? ›

There's a reason for this, according to new data from Match's Singles in America survey: Guys just get over breakups faster. Match surveyed more than 5,000 men and women and found that half of dudes are over a rejection in a month, while the average woman takes four months to get over it. Yup, that sounds about right.

How do I move on? ›

15-Steps for How to Move On:
  1. Look at your life as a journey. ...
  2. Silence your inner critic. ...
  3. Reflect realistically. ...
  4. Let go of fantasy. ...
  5. Feel the feelings. ...
  6. Talk about it. ...
  7. Explore your attachment style. ...
  8. Believe in yourself.

Why do breakups hurt so much? ›

A study published in the Journal of Neurophysiology has found that a relationship breakup may feel so painful because it activates the part of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings. There's nothing sharp in the observation that breakups can send behavior a bit off the wall.

Are all breakups permanent? ›

Not every breakup is permanent but that doesn't mean every couple should or will get back together. Taking a break from a relationship can sometimes be the best way to build a stronger union in the future.

Can time apart save a relationship? ›

Taking time apart can allow you both to think about the issues in your relationship, cool off, learn new coping strategies, and come back together with a different lens or perspective that can be difficult to have when you're together and actively fighting through your issues.

How do you know someone wants you back? ›

20 Signs Your Ex Wants You Back
  • They Make Attempts To Stay In Touch. ...
  • They Keep You Updated. ...
  • They Get Jealous. ...
  • They Pretend That They Need Your Help. ...
  • They Keep Bringing Up Your Memories Together. ...
  • They Tell You How Far They Have Come. ...
  • They Keep Checking With Mutual Friends About Your Well-being.
30 Aug 2022

Is it best to go no contact after a breakup? ›

The No Contact rule is so effective because it allows you to sit with your grief and wounds and not plug up any holes or feelings of brokenness with someone else, as sex and grief coach Breeshia Wade, explains.

Is it best not to talk after a breakup? ›

The rule of thumb is to wait 30 days before you speak to your ex once again. If you were together for a very long time and you break up, you may need to extend this to six weeks. At the most, 2-2.5 months is how long the no-contact phase should go.

Why do people break up? ›

The most common reasons people break up usually involve a lack of emotional intimacy, sexual incompatibility, differences in life goals, and poor communication and conflict resolution skills. There are no wrong or good reasons to break up.

Does my ex miss me even though we don't talk? ›

Yes, an ex misses you during No Contact. They miss you because they no longer have what they used to have. Your ex misses you even though you don't talk because they have time to adjust to your absence. This will help them reflect and miss you more.

How do you know when your ex is truly done with you? ›

30 Signs Your Ex Is Over You and Not Pretending!
  • They don't call you anymore. ...
  • They send short text messages as a response. ...
  • They are seeing someone new. ...
  • They don't want to hang out. ...
  • They can be in the same room with you without feeling sad. ...
  • They stop flirting. ...
  • It doesn't bother them you are dating.
1 Mar 2022

How do I get my ex back even if I seem impossible? ›

Steps You Can Take & Things To Say To Get Your Ex Back
  1. Give Them Space. ...
  2. Apply the No Contact Rule (Yes, Even on Social Media) ...
  3. Become a Person You Can Be Proud Of. ...
  4. Make Some Positive Changes in Your Appearance. ...
  5. Make Some Positive Changes in Your Mentality. ...
  6. Allow Yourself to Grieve for a While. ...
  7. Write a Journal.
2 Dec 2021

How do I force myself to move on? ›

10 Steps To Moving On
  1. You Did Not Fail. After the end of a relationship you may feel you are to blame, but beating yourself up over past mistakes will only make you feel worse. ...
  2. Believe In Moving On. ...
  3. Get Busy. ...
  4. Pamper Yourself. ...
  5. Talk, Talk, Talk.
15 Nov 2017

How do I deal with him not wanting me? ›

What To Do When Your Crush Doesn't Like You Back
  1. Don't Be Quick To Take It Personal. ...
  2. It's Not A Reflection Of Your Personal Worth. ...
  3. You Don't Like Every Person That Likes You Either. ...
  4. You Can't Force Someone to Like You Back. ...
  5. Give Yourself Time To Process How You Feel. ...
  6. Avoid These Common Social Media Pitfalls. ...
  7. Move Forward.

How do you remove someone from your mind and heart? ›

The 12 strategies below can help you refresh your focus.
  1. Figure out why. ...
  2. Focus on the facts. ...
  3. Accept instead of reject. ...
  4. Write it down. ...
  5. Find a positive distraction. ...
  6. Work on self-discovery. ...
  7. Prioritize meeting your own needs. ...
  8. Keep a healthy distance.
27 Apr 2020

How do you let go of someone who doesn't want you? ›

But for now, let's talk about how to let go of someonewho doesn't love you.
  1. #1 – Ask yourself how determined you are to do this. ...
  2. #2 – Make three lists and refer to them often. ...
  3. #3 – Cut him off. ...
  4. #4 – Believe that you will find another love. ...
  5. #5 – Get back out there!

How do I get him out my head? ›

How to get someone out of your head
  1. Less said, more time. ...
  2. Wait and see what happens next. ...
  3. Move away from the blame game. ...
  4. Try not to fall into other people's states of mind. ...
  5. Deal with your biggest problem first. ...
  6. When you're angry, it wrinkles the mind. ...
  7. Don't try to figure others out. ...
  8. Your thoughts are not facts.
26 May 2014

How do you know your ex doesn't miss you? ›

15 painful signs he doesn't miss you
  1. You always start the conversation.
  2. He doesn't check how you are.
  3. He's busy all the time.
  4. He seems to be distracted when you're together.
  5. He doesn't give genuine excuses.
  6. Long-drawn-out responses to your phone calls or messages.
  7. He is unresponsive to your phone calls or messages.
4 Jul 2022

How can I stop love pain? ›

8 Ways to Stay Away From Love and Avoid the Pain?
  1. Focus on yourself. Focus on what you want in life. ...
  2. Spend time with your loved ones. ...
  3. Hang out with your Girl Gang. ...
  4. Bury yourself in work. ...
  5. Explore your hobbies. ...
  6. Convince yourself. ...
  7. Start making out the difference. ...
  8. Love yourself.
19 Sept 2019

Will no contact work if he lost feelings? ›

If you wonder if he will move on during no contact, chances of this are high if he no longer loves you or if you are dealing with a case of unrequited feelings. A simple answer to the central question guiding this section of the article is “no.” No contact will not work if he has lost feelings for you.

Is my ex keeping me as an option? ›

If your ex doesn't even bother to text or call you back anymore, then that's a very good sign that they are using you as a backburner option. If they genuinely wanted to be friends with you, they would try to keep things as open as possible so that they could have that option available.

Will blocking someone make them miss you? ›

He Will Feel Sad That You Blocked Him

It's not what you think. Yes, he will feel sad about losing you, and he will miss you. He might even reflect on some of his behaviors he knows were wrong. But all that sadness will be heavily overshadowed by his wounded pride and shattered ego.

Should I text my ex for closure? ›

If you just want to apologize and make peace, a text exchange might be sufficient, especially if you think seeing each other face to face again might be too hard or too confusing. But if you want to discuss the possibility of getting back together, that's probably a conversation best had in person.

How does Girl feel after breakup? ›

In fact, she's actually even starting to enjoy her newfound space; doing what she wants when she wants it, how she wants to, pants on or off. Her feelings of you now are very much buried. She's probably cut you off completely, and removed anyone and anything associated with you from her life as well.

How do men feel better after a break up? ›

Coping With a Breakup: 10 Tips for Men
  1. Nest. ...
  2. Go easy on the alcohol. ...
  3. Get a relaxing massage. ...
  4. Invite friends over to your new house for dinner and cook for them. ...
  5. Don't “mind read” and assume you know what others are thinking. ...
  6. Talk to your friends. ...
  7. Prioritize adequate sleep. ...
  8. Process guilt and shame.
12 Jun 2014

Why do you feel numb after a breakup? ›

Feeling nothing, or feeling foggy and numb, is your body's way of blocking out something terrible while your brain gets up to speed on such a big change. It's kind of like your body pressing its own emotional pause button so you can survive your day. It comes and goes, but eventually passes.

Who suffers more in a breakup? ›

Women averaged 6.84 in terms of emotional anguish versus 6.58 in men. In terms of physical pain, women averaged 4.21 versus men's 3.75. While breakups hit women the hardest emotionally and physically, women tend to recover more fully and come out emotionally stronger.

Is silence best after a breakup? ›

Silence Is Key After a Breakup

Remember, silence is a key after you've just broken up. It helps re-establish your bond while allowing both you and your partner to think. So, instead of texting and making phone calls, be absolutely silent.

Do girls move on faster? ›

The research indicates that men take longer time than women and struggle more to move on. In fact, the researchers observed that many male participants suffered from PRG (Post relationship Grief) at the time of the study even if they had parted ways more than a year ago.

Are breakups harder on guys? ›

When it comes to breakups, we tend to think that women are devastated while men quickly move on. But a new study from researchers at Binghamton University and University College London reveals that breakups actually hit men harder than women.

Videos

1. How to Get Over The End of a Relationship | Antonio Pascual-Leone | TEDxUniversityofWindsor
(TEDx Talks)
2. 5 Ways to Deal With a Break Up
(Psych2Go)
3. How To Move On After A Breakup?
(Sadhguru)
4. Overcoming Loneliness after a Breakup or Divorce | Stephanie Lyn Coaching 2022 | Breakup Recovery
(Stephanie Lyn Coaching)
5. Going Through Breakup Hell? | Matthew Hussey
(Matthew Hussey)
6. When You Do Not Contact Your Ex THIS Happens!
(Coach Lee)
Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Fredrick Kertzmann

Last Updated: 02/20/2023

Views: 5729

Rating: 4.6 / 5 (66 voted)

Reviews: 89% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Fredrick Kertzmann

Birthday: 2000-04-29

Address: Apt. 203 613 Huels Gateway, Ralphtown, LA 40204

Phone: +2135150832870

Job: Regional Design Producer

Hobby: Nordic skating, Lacemaking, Mountain biking, Rowing, Gardening, Water sports, role-playing games

Introduction: My name is Fredrick Kertzmann, I am a gleaming, encouraging, inexpensive, thankful, tender, quaint, precious person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.